And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
