I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Found your dick twin last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
