It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
