Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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