WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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