I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
