I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
