Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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