I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
