direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
