i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
