I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
