I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
