Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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