the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
