there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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