She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
