he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
