I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dick very happy bro
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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