I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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