is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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