I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
