my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
