I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
