so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
