when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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