dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
