Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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