Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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