NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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