The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
