Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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