the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
