It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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