break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
