Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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