Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
