you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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