how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
