Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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