This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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