your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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