For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
