i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
