Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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