i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
