I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
