i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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