We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
