When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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