Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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