That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
