Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
